Lifeguarding..

I'm about to die guys.

Very much so.

I have been at lifeguarding for the past two days.
Friday from 5-10. And today from 9-8:30.

And I have been working my (very small) tookus off.

Today for example:

We've been learning how to strap on backboards (a hard board thing) in shallow water (3 ft)
And at the very end we had to do it in the deep end (10 ft.) Which is definately not as easy as it is in shallow water. And for me, everything that could possibly go wrong without having to start over, did.

My partner was about as useful as a lump of coal. Two or three straps got stuck, and caught on things. My foot got caught in the loop of the lifeguarding tube. Aaaand best of all I was being watched by 10 other people.

the pressure was on. And I survived, and got no "Good job!" "You did well!" or anything. But everyone who failed at it got all the reassurance ever. I feel somedays that I'm working my butt off for nothing.

I miss my room, I miss my bed, I miss my friends, and most of all, I miss my boyfriend. I call him every chance I get. I'm going crazy. I seriously don't know what i'd ever do without him.

I love him so much. But anyway.

I'm chlorinated, I'm tired, and I really really don't want to take another CPR class. HOPEFULLY we get done early tomorrow. As in, before 8 so I can get home before 10. Please. I want to see my boyfriend tomorrow night. Its bad enough I won't get to help him with his paper route. Ugh. I'm a horrible girlfriend.



Well, guys, I'm going to sleep.
Wish me luck. (Not like anyone reads this anyway.)

And some days....

I feel totally, and utterly alone.

Ohh goodness. It has been awhile, huh?

Well sorry folks, but not much to update on right now. All I can say is highschool is Full. Of. Drama.

And not even the good kind.

I really can't get into details, because some weird people read my blog.
--But it is dealing with an ex-exclusive couple at the high school. And it's really starting to bug me.


I hate how high school is where you figure out who your real friends are.
But I guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Riiight. Well I hope ya'll are having fun with your lives.

With college only two years away, I'm kind of starting to freak out.
Yeah, i know you're probably thinking I'm a lunatic. But. It's just one of those things I'm kind of freaking out about right about now. Oh dear, not to mention Im getting these aweful migranes. Very frequent and I sometimes almost pass out. Ask a certain German girl, she can tell you. I may be getting glasses soon.

Eff. Well this post definately turned out longer than expected. When I start venting, it's hard to stop. But I feel like a whiner, like a certain brunette girl who i sing with in city singers, and in musial playing a girl who's part she fits perfectly. A b word. I love her to death. But she complains about EVERYTHING. And now I kind of feel like I'm acting like her. Sorrrryy. (:


*I've stopped using other peoples names so I don't feel like I'm gossiping about them.*

30 Hours.

30 Hour Famine.

No eating from Midnight on Thursday til 6 AM Saturday.
And I'm participating.

Somedays I don't know what I'm getting myself into.
It's only been almost 7 hours, and I'm almost dying.

23 Hours more to go.

I just can't wait for the lock-in tonight.
Wish me luck everyone.

Ahh the wonders of ungrounding. (: (:

Made scotcheroos today. They were nummy. Om nom nom.
First day of Tennis conditioning today.


Oh. My. God.
I about died.


And first day of musical starts tomorrow.
Oh joy.

OHHH and on top of all that. I have to finish up speech(two more weeks), write another speech for 4-H, Peru Honor choir. (One-day thing), get 60 Hours of my study project for Girl Scouts before the end of the school year. AAAAAND keep my grades up.

I'm pretty sure God is testing me.

But I have my ahh-mayzing boyfriend.
And he's all I need.


Oh and Dear God,
I don't have good study habits.
Please oh please let up just a teensy bit.
I would be very appreciative.

Sincerely Yours,
Mayme.

I'm still currently grounded from the internet. 2 more weeks. uuugh.

Sorry, but this is about as much of an update as I can give right now.
I promise to write as SOON as I get ungrounded, okay??

I love youu all (:

aaah..

new phone, greatest boyfriend in the world.
(even though i apparently bite reaaally hard. :P)


everything is going pretty okay right now :)


P.S. *T-Minus 10 Days til maah birfdaay.*
P.S.S. I loove my Mr. Tooter. :P :P

Ugh. ):

My phone didn't come in today.
It's apparently in Omaha. and should be here some time tomorrow.

Hopefully before seven. but, no guarantees.
That's such a weird word.

Guarantee.
Totally not the way I think it should be spelt.

Finals tomorrow. FML.
Wish me luck.

I love all of you who read mahh blog.
<3

Errm.

Today was kind of crummy cuz our school decided to move finals to Thursday and Friday.
Not that I had any plans, buuut if I did, I would be more upset.


oooh well.

Come to the basketball game and save me from Concession stands.


*T-Minus one daay til my phone gets baack. *
*T-Minus 12 days til I'm 16!!*

Ohhh Gooodness.

Sorry for the...blow up earlier.

I was toootally being overdramatic.
We're actually going to Lincoln tomorrow.
(After promising me since Thursday.)

But ANYWHOO.
Today, just did NOT turn out as planned.

But then again, does it ever??

I had to work all day, and I worked quite chipperly all day because I thought
I'd be getting my brand new phone.

Well it turned out not to work, just my luck, right?
And then my boyfriend came over for what seemed like 10 minutes,
but it was long enough to watch up until the last 5 minutes of the Hangover. So almost two hours.

So, that made my day a LEETLE better I suppose.
(I love my boyfriend soo much.)

So tomorrow, since the rest of my weekend didn't go the way I planned.
We're finally heading up to get my new phone tomorrow.
(Going phoneless for the last 5 snow days, have NOT been easy.)


I know, I probably sound REALLY shallow and superficial but there's more too it.

ITS was supposed to be Yesterday and Today. But since we had no school, we weren't even allowed to go.
and ITS stands for International Thespian Society. (NOT lesbians)
so basically it's a HUGE get together for Actors and Actresses. Like a hunting convention, or something like that. And it's so fun. It's also the only thing I really look forward to all school year.
That, and the new cell phone is ALL i asked for, for my birthday. Which is on the 26th of this month.


Did I mention I'm turning 16?!?!? Yipee!
But instead of asking for a car (I have a boyfriend for now to carpool me around AND I already have a 1985 Buick with my name on it)

So the whole car thing has been worked out for now.
And I guess so has my weekend. Hopefully after Lincoln, I can hang with hiiim again.
Stupid algebra. >_____>

My prediction...

of today was completely and TOTALLY


off.


today was horrible.

Hell,
this weekend has been, and will be horrible.

Good day??

Hmm... maybe going to get a new phone today.


*crosses fingers*



Please ohh please be a good day.

""This IS a story of boy meets girl (sort of)..."

"...but I must tell you up front, this is not a love story." -(500) Days of Summer

and that isn't more true.
because this, is not a story.

It's reality.

it's..me.


Haa. And in the beginning, I thought my life was great.
I had great friends, great family, and everything I wanted.

Then reality hit.
And my life has become crap. Utter. Shit.

And as hard, as my boyfriend tries. (Oh god, he is so colorful in my world of grey.)

I feel completely, and irrevocably alone.

and I have no one else to go to.

I think my problem is, I need a best friend.

I mean, someone to hang with on Friday nights, watching movies, talk about boys, and have those late night four o'clock in the morning talks.

Do you know how long it's been since I've spent the night at someones house??
(It has to have been since the 8th grade)

I mean, I have the people who I sit with at lunch, and the people I talk to in class.
But other than that, I have Nicholas. He's been the only constant in my life for what seems like ages.


I don't even want to imagine what would happen to me, if he left my life completely.
God, I'm so pathetic, I'm crying just thinking about it.

And my family is sitting right here in the living room with me, oblivious to my thoughts and actions.
It's like...they don't even care.

Today, I watched Dr. Phil and they had this "Am I The Only One..." Segment.

Tell me Doc, Am I the Only one who feels THIS alone? And if there's someone here who's just as alone as me, help them find me so I can find a friend.
(Makes me wonder if I'm talking to Dr. Phil, or God.)

Then I Think about it.

Maybe, maybe it's me? Or maybe, it's this town.

Dear God (Or Phil),
College is only two and a half years away.
Please, oh please take me far, far away from here.
For my sanity.

Sincerely,
Me